Your Complete Guide to College Tour Guides

The start of junior year the college process began to rapidly accelerate. All of a sudden, long weekends that would have been previously spent with my friends and family in Atlanta have now been completely monopolized by college tours around the country. Since August, I have been on four different trips and toured many a school. The one thing I’ve learned is that the tour guide makes or breaks the tour. So, here is my guide to college tour guides:

Requirements for Tour Guides:

  1. You must be able to walk backwards while simultaneously describing a bunch of buildings.

  2. You must work at least one Harry Potter reference into your dialogue.

  3. And finally, when passing the quad, it is vital to illustrate that on perfect sunny days there are people outside relaxing and throwing a frisbee. It is very important to mention the frisbee.

Different Types of Tour Guides

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The Robot -- This type of guide is neither here nor there. Yes, they get the information across, but it is very clear that they have spent hours rehearsing and memorizing a university-administered tour script. The night before, it is part of their routine to practice their jokes in front of the mirror for a minimum of three hours. During this time they will retell their jokes with different hand gestures every time. Overall, pretty boring, but at least it’s informative.

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Energetic -- This guide will hype up every aspect of their school. Prior to the tour, they probably had at least three cups of coffee. While walking you around they’ll probably take down another one. They generally utilize a wide variety of hand gestures while touring. They will probably begin talking about a professor they had, as if you know the professor personally. Often this type of guide comes in a pair. If this is the case, the guides will feed off of each other's energy and it will multiply mentioning Harry Potter more than once.

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Overly Chill -- This guide will probably show up in sweats and a flannel over their university t-shirt. They are most likely hungover and are not the most skilled at hiding it. This is displayed by the amount of water the consumer while leading the tour. They probably have reviewed the mandatory information to talk about but will probably talk more about the school as they have experienced it than specific logistics. They rely on audience questions to hit all their talking points. These are actually some of the best guides in my opinion, because they give an authentic feel for student demographics in the school. However, they are likely to miss some crucial information, if nobody brings it up.

The Perfect Guide -- They’re energetic, relaxed, and have memorized all the information.These guides do a great job having a balanced incorporation of their personal experience with the facts and general norms of the school.  They’ll often tell sarcastic jokes throughout their monologues, while also giving you all of the information you’re hoping to hear. Most likely, they will give you an extensive take on their opinions of the on-campus food when you pass the dining hall and offer their personal tips and tricks for entertainment around campus. This guide obviously knows their stuff and will thoroughly answer all of your wildest questions, but they are also very charismatic.

By Vivi Melkonian

Vivi MelkonianComment