The Best Fry Ever
Corpse Reviver, CC BY 3.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0>, via Wikimedia Commons
Here’s a hot take: potatoes suck. The carby lumps just aren’t anything special. Mashed, roasted, chip-ified, I can’t stomach it. But french fries? French fries are the love of my life. The only problem is, where are the best ones?
To answer this question, I rated french fries from popular fast food restaurants around Atlanta, taking into consideration five key factors: taste, shape, texture, price, and consistency. To ensure all fries were given a fair and equal chance, they were all ordered as a medium (or comparable), tried without dipping sauce, and eaten within five minutes of being purchased. I spent a week trying out the most highly recommended fast food restaurants to find out which fry is truly worth the time.
Chick-Fil-A
Shape: Waffle
Price: $2.55 (medium)
This fry proved to be a huge inconvenience. Recently, Chick-Fil-A added pea starch to their fries. Why is this a problem you might ask? I can’t eat peas. Therefore, you will simply have to rely on my past experience of the fries. In my life, I’ve had these fries countless times, and let me tell you just one thing – they are so freaking inconsistent. The “butt fries,” or the ends of the potatoes, are always unappetizing and you never know just how much salt the kitchen decided to put on that day until you bite into mushy air or a Bolivian salt flat. Also, I find myself wondering if my fries are going to come out undercooked or burnt, as they are very infrequently perfectly cooked. However, when they are good, they are GOOD. If you can get the perfect batch of Chick-Fil-A fries, you should count yourself adequately blessed. May your day be filled with joy, laughter, and a full stomach. Overall, these fries get a 6/10 - they’re good, just not great.
McDonald’s
Shape: Straight
Price: $2.59 (medium)
Classic red box with the double golden arches - that’s how I think of McDonald’s fries. But maybe, I should be thinking of them as simply… mediocre. Normally, I would say that these are easily my favorite fries, but after trying them again, I’ve realized that maybe, just maybe, they could be better. A lot better. While some fries were soggy and bent, others were hard and crunchy - almost teeth breakingly so. Plus, the salt-to-fry ratio was way off, and I found myself feeling as if I were eating cardboard. However, those are just the bad fries in the batch. The good fries? Those are easily the best fries I’ve ever had. When they are good, McDonald’s fries are the perfect blend of crunch and fluff. Unfortunately, you would have to be a literal saint for karma to allow you to get a fully perfect batch. Even though every batch has a few perfect fries, they don’t completely make up for their not-so-good counterparts. For that reason, I have to give these fries a 7.5/10, an average of the perfect 10’s and the unfortunate 4’s.
Zaxby’s
Shape: Crinkle
Price: $2.59 (regular)
The first seasoned fry on this list! Hurray! Actually, not so hurray. The delicious seasoning is incredibly unevenly spread, making one bite pure spice and the rest unflavored mush. Now, the crinkle shape is pretty good, and you can’t find that just anywhere. But honestly? These fries are best described by one word: forgettable. They’re fine, they’re ok, but they aren’t anything to run out for. The main thing for me is the lack of crunch. Maybe it’s because they are the thickest cut fries on this list, but overall these fries are just meh. The spice just can’t make up for the unfortunate rest of the snack. I give these a middle-of-the-road 5/10.
At the end of the day, none of these fries are perfect. But I would say your best bet in a pinch is definitely McDonald’s. Watch out for those stray cardboard fries and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
By Samantha Weiner