Ranking the Five Worst Albums of 2023 (so far)

I have broken bones, grieved, and almost drowned, but by far the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced was the research process for this article. For some sadistic reason, I decided that for my last piece of the year, I would rank the worst five-rated albums of 2023 so far (according to rateyourmusic.com). Here is that ranking:

The best album out of the five, in my opinion, is Ben by Macklemore. This album was a hard listen, with every song being honestly embarrassing for anyone with good music taste. The choir vocals, bright instrumentals, and classic Macklemore production quickly became annoying. The biggest problem with this album is that it’s practically a repeat of all the other albums he’s made for the past decade. He hasn’t changed his flow, cadence, instrumentals, or really any artistic principles. His attempt at an uplifting maximalist confessionary comes off as a mediocre, mistake-filled out-of-touch lecture. With cringe lines like, “sweat balls down to the floor” and “this is allz for the taking,” it’s arguable his lyricism is the worst part of the album. The production is probably the most redeeming aspect. It’s also not nearly as annoying as some of the other options. This is clunky, preachy, and cookie-cutter.

The second best album is the album Lil Pump 2. This album has some of the most irritating beats I’ve ever heard in rap. His rapping can be repetitive, an obvious attempt to channel the success of his previous repetitive raps, but he does have some funny bars that make up for the suffering songs like “Splurgin” and “She Know” put me through. The best song on the album is either “No Hook” or “Fendi on Fendi”, where Lil Pump's brainless lyricism flashes potential charm. However, despite the upsides, this album has one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard in “Pump Rock x Heavy Metal”. It’s so bad I just couldn’t bring myself to give the album the best spot.

In third place is Hope by NF. It starts off good with a very interesting beginning with solid production in the beginning of the first song. After the beginning it slips and continues downhill for the entire album. NF is known as an emo rapper, so his decision to sing on this album perplexes me. He includes his trademark fast melodramatic rapping, but every song was so whiny it was hard to give him any credit. However, the best verse of any of the albums is on this album in the form of a feature from Cordae, but NF couldn't carry on the momentum provided by Cordae on the track. He includes lazy and corny pop songs, where he attempts to sing but falls completely flat. He is a multi-millionaire, but complains and whines this whole album, making him feel very out of touch. The conclusion of the album, “Running” is the corny, poppy, whiny ending to a corny, poppy, whiny album.

In fourth place is The Mockingbird and the Crow by Hardy. This is a sorrowful attempt at a concept album. The first half is the pure encapsulation of the most stereotypical trashy country you could possibly imagine. It goes from a song from the perspective of a beer to another song about drinking a beer, to a song about there “not being an I in country, but there’s a Y O U.” It’s flamingly mediocre and frankly disrespectful to the listener, with many lines about how his era was better than the youngins.’ The song “Here Lies Country” is the most baby boomer song I’ve ever heard, with whiny lyrics about the fall of country and basic uncreative instrumentals. Halfway through the album, the entire thing switches to a disgraceful rock hellscape that can only be described as a mockery of the rock greats through the tarnish of the genre. With horribly basic chord progressions, preachy out-of-touch lyrics, and production greatly influenced by the philosophy behind spray and pray, the second half is what cements this disgusting dumpster fire at spot number four.

This album took me four days to finish. Lukas Graham is the band behind the classic hit “Once I Was Seven Years Old,” but their fall from grace has been fast and hard. This album has horrible vocal mixing, with Lukas’ piercing voice causing so much brain pain from the very first seconds of the album. This whole album is trying to recapture 2015 pop, like an awful embodiment of an old Shawn Mendez. Starting with the second song there are already trap drums, uninspired vocals, and violently repetitive choruses. I think he says the words “wish you were here” at least fifty times. By the third song, he straight up steals a melody from the legend Daniel Caesar, using the “We Find Love” arpeggio section as the obvious basis for his chorus in “This is Me Letting you go.” Share that love with G-Eazy is cringe at its peak, with him saying, “High as f*ck windows open. 5-0 right behind us hit the gas and we ghost 'em,” right before going into a section about love. The songs on this album were narcissistic, lifeless, and infuriating at every turn. This was the worst album I’ve ever listened to. I hope I never see the name Lukas Graham again.

By Elijah Roth