Whodunit: Tucker Carlson or SNL ?
It’s Saturday evening as you slouch onto your sofa, shuffling around to situate yourself in the best position, popcorn in one hand and the remote in the other. As you press down on the power button, pixels light up the screen and you are left with two options: hear your speakers announce “Good evening and welcome to Tucker Carlson Tonight'' or "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" Though one is a news source and the other a late-night comedy show, the two happen to be similar far too often. So, can you figure out which quotes are by Tucker Carlson, Fox News television host, and which are from Saturday Night Live comedy skits? It may be harder than you think.
“Your response when you see children wearing masks as they play should be no different from your response to seeing someone beat a kid in Walmart. Call the police immediately, contact child protective services. Keep calling until someone arrives.”
M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous. Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal.”
“There’s so many times I talk to a white person about this and they say, ‘How could you like Trump? He’s racist.’ Well, uh, if I was concerned about racism, I would have moved out of America a long time ago”
Regarding an illegal marriage: “Arranging a marriage between a 16-year-old and a 27-year-old is not the same as pulling a stranger off the street and raping her. The rapist, in this case, has made a lifelong commitment to live and take care of the person, so it is a little different.”
Detailing how the person was not molested by the towns child molester: “he didn’t like me, I felt a little bad”
“I’ve always been obsessed with women, and I’ve often wondered: If I had grown up in Poland when Hitler came to power and was sent to a concentration camp, would I still be checking out women in the camp? I think I would. Of course, the problem is, there are no good opening lines in a concentration camp. ‘How’s it going? They treating you okay? You know, if we ever get out of here, I’d love to take you out for some latkes. What? What’d I say? Is it me, or is it the whole thing? It’s because I’m bald, isn’t it?”
A fashion editor criticizes Donald Trump: “You should stick to the thigh-high boots. You’re better at that.
Discussing white supremacy: “This is a hoax, just like the Russia hoax. It’s a conspiracy theory used to divide the country and keep a hold on power.”
When discussing immigration: “We have a moral obligation to admit the world’s poor, they tell us, even if it makes our own country poorer and dirtier and more divided,”
Imitating a Jamaican individual: “Respect all respect. My auntie. Respect all aspects, respect me neck, respect me knees, Big up Jamaica massive! Big up Kingston Massive! We got the whole family now, ya here! Big respect to my man Sean Paul the dance floor killer!”
ANSWER KEY!!!!!
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