Tips and Tricks to Battle your Anxiety, Love Your Extremely Anxious Friend

I cannot place when I first began feeling anxious or, rather, a time in my life when I haven’t felt anxious. I recall creating a project in second grade about a snow petrel, a beautiful white bird from the Arctic. I spent most of this project crying about the imperfections of the bird cut-out and whether my research was thorough enough. In fourth grade, I had to make a cardboard house with a functioning light bulb; I reacted similarly, and this project traumatizes me to this day. In fifth grade, a speaker came to school  to  speak with us about dealing with anxiety. I left the room crying because I believed the talk was directed at me, the stressed kid. My anxiety worsened exponentially through tenth grade, and I spent the first year and a half of high school a nervous wreck. I bawled every time I was confused and spiraled into panic if I spoke too fast during a presentation. My life became defined by my anxiety and the pressure I had put on myself had sucked the joy out of learning. But I am here to detail a success story: what happened between 10th grade to now. A story of taking control back over my life and stripping my anxiety of its power over me. Here’s how I did it. 

(PS: Anyone struggling with their mental health should first and foremost go to a trusted adult or designated professional. My suggestions are personal to my experience and have helped me, but that does not mean I am a medical professional.)

1. Fidget toys

   1. As silly as it sounds, a good fidget toy can be literally life-changing. Fidgets allow for non-distracting movement and a space to physically let out internal stressors. Whether it be molding clay slime or playing with a pop-it, the slight movement helps me focus and stay in control when I feel the exact opposite. 

2. “Sh** happens” box

   1. Introducing my proudest invention as a stressed person: my over thinking box! Every time I find myself overanalyzing a past event, whether it be a conversation I had with a friend or mumbling during a presentation, I write the instance on a little piece of paper and throw it in a box labeled, 🎶Sh** happens and that's okay, put it in the box and it will go away🎶. As the paper slips into the container, my anxieties ease simultaneously. As simple as this may seem, for me the physical action of putting my stressors away immediately takes a weight off my shoulder. 

3. Bullet journal

   1. Bullet journaling is not only my favorite stress relieving activity but also just a general favorite thing to do. I first began bullet journaling as an assignment for my therapist, and it has truly blossomed into a hobby of mine. At the first of each month, I sit at my desk and plan a monthly journal spread composed of an intro page, calendar, a creative mood tracker, a page where I detail the highlights of each day, etc. This practice acts as a form of positive distraction for me as well as a way to wind down everyday. My favorite bullet journal if you are beginning is the LEUCHTTURM 1917.

4. Reality/Perspective check

   1. Once you have recovered from an initial panic and you are in a more comfortable place where progress is achievable, it is important to question the rationality of your thinking. Will this affect me in the long run? Will the people important to you feel different about you? No. The answer to all these questions is likely no. So rationalizing your thinking, even if it may be difficult, is essential. 

5. DO NOT BE MAD AT YOURSELF!

   1. The number one rule of dealing with anxiety is to not be mad at yourself for feeling anxious. In the thick of my anxiety freshman year, I would get anxious and very upset, and once that had settled, I would spin into chaos again, angry at myself for my reaction. Being angry at yourself for feeling a certain way and expressing it will always further the negative impact of the situation and never ease you. Be kind to yourself. Anxiety is tough – do not make it harder than it already is. 

And that's that: the five tips that have helped to ease my anxiety. Obviously, dealing with anxiety is a very personal thing and different for every individual struggling. I hope, though, that by sharing my experience, I can help someone try a new technique to release stress and take power back.