Etika: Impacting Gamers Through Legacy and Loss

The date was June 12, 2018, and Nintendo’s E3 presentation, also known as a “Nintendo Direct,” was right around the corner. In this specific presentation, Nintendo was set to reveal their newest entry in their massively popular Super Smash Bros series, and like every other highly anticipated piece of media today, the idea of a brand new Smash Bros. game stirred up large amounts of excitement, especially within fans of Nintendo. To capitalize on the ‘hype,’ many popular streamers would broadcast their live reactions to these reveals. But, few streamers were as popular as Etika’s whose livestream on Youtube reacting to the Direct garnered roughly 75,000 viewers, more than some of the official Nintendo restreams. This whole concept of reaction-based content largely contributes to why Nintendo Directs generate nearly as much excitement as they do. While the appeal to this type of content might be hard for some to grasp, I can personally attest to the fact that there is something exciting about watching your favorite content creators flip out over something, especially when you share in the excitement over that something as well. One streamer, more than any other encapsulated this type of content and culture to the point where he became synonymous with the word ‘Nintendo Direct’ and this person went by the name of Etika.

To this date, I have never seen a single content creator who possesses the type of contagious energy that Etika did. The combination of his wildness, his positivity, his honesty, and his humor turned his stream into something that was truly a one of a kind experience. His popularity outshined most other Nintendo content creators, and everyone would turn to watch him whenever there was another big presentation that was set to announce the upcoming Nintendo games for the year. On this particular stream that took place on June 12, he was absolutely losing his mind over the new Super Smash Bros. game, which was revealed to be named Super Smash Bros. Ultimate for the Nintendo Switch. As per usual, his energy was unmatched. His reaction was so wild that he ended up accidentally breaking his shelf that displayed most if not all the Nintendo collectibles he had accumulated in excitement, while seemingly shouting infinite amounts of expletives in the process. Frankly, he was definitely not kid friendly, but he still excited and energized me about things nonetheless. I remember his heart rate, displayed on stream, was so high that it bordered numbers that would actually pose a risk for a potential heart attack. This stream, especially in retrospect today, was one of, if not my absolute favorite moment as a Nintendo fan. It made me feel so excited and anxious for the next six months leading up to the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Honestly, as silly as it sounds, I don’t think I’ve ever truly been as excited as I was for Smash Bros. for anything else since, and a lot of that was due to Etika’s influence, and his ability to incite excitement about things within people. 

During this time, there was more buzz surrounding Smash Bros than ever before. A lot of people were excited and optimistic about what the future held for Smash Bros, and for many people Etika would be a key part of that future. People imagined how much ‘hype’ there would be on Etika’s streams surrounding potential DLC announcements within the coming years, and other Smash events that could only be possible with the release of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

I don’t think anyone who watched that stream could ever imagine that that same man who had such pronounced charisma and energy would be capable of taking his own life just over a year later.

From that moment on, things slowly began to take a turn for the worst. In October of 2018, Etika would get his channel of almost 1 million subscribers deleted for uploading explicit content to it during the first of his many mental breakdowns. This forced him to make a new account. In the months that followed this incident, it appeared as if he was getting back to his normal self, as he made multiple promises to his fans ensuring them that nothin akin to what happened in late October would ever take place again. However, in February to March signs of further mental deterioration began to show. His reactions and overall energy began to feel less genuine; it felt forced. One of the moments I vaguely remember was him smashing a bottle in reaction to what appeared to be just a simple troll comment on Twitter. At the time, it appeared that this could’ve been an attempt to entertain, as Etika had most certainly been known for his wild antics in the past, similar to breaking his shelf in reaction to the Super Smash Bros. reveal. In retrospect, though, this moment feels less of a ploy to get a laugh out of his viewers and more of a short maniacal outburst, but because it was difficult to distinguish Etika’s Youtube persona from his mental episodes nobody would think anything of these small moments at the time. Again, some of these moments are painfully obvious and easy to really decipher in retrospect, but since Etika had built a living and reputation of being such a wild personality, no one really thought much of it. 

Unfortunately, things reached their worst point in late April, when his concerned fans called the police after Etika had what appeared to be another mental breakdown on Twitter, posting a string of messages threatening to kill himself and many other cryptic things. Many of his close friends, who were concerned with his well-being, reached out to him to check up on him via Twitter and Personal messages, but a majority of these interactions simply ended in Etika blocking them, attempting to shut them out from his life. The police ended up coming to his house to ensure his safety, but they arrived to only hear Etika shouting multiple seemingly maniacal and crazed things from his apartment window, and refusing them entry into his apartment. It was here where Etika took the liberty to infamously stream his entire standoff with the police on Instagram live. During the standoff, Etika continued on with his maniacal messages, going as far as declaring himself god of something. Eventually, Etika was detained and sent off to a mental hospital for three days, which is the maximum number of times a patient can be held there against their own free will. 

After these events occurred, many fans and friends felt betrayed, as Etika, who had previously promised to get his issues under control, obviously hadn’t gotten the help he needed, and his seemingly combative responses to any attempts to reach out to him indicated that he had no remorse or consideration for the people who were concerned for him. Unfortunately, some ‘fans’ and people in general took the liberty to make a show of the situation, as they proceeded to make jokes about the situation on the internet. For the sole purpose of their own amusement, they unremorsefully mocked him and shamed his issues publicly. Youtuber KEEMSTAR took the liberty of making a scene of Etika’s mental state. Upon seeing his latest outburst, KEEMSTAR, in my opinion, utilized the fact that Etika had been a fan of his show to schedule an interview with him mere hours after he was released from the mental hospital. In said interview, Etika, who is obviously unwell, continues to go on crazed rants, and KEEMSTAR reacts by making fun of him and treating him like some sick circus act for his show, calling him a “nut job.” This ‘interview’ exposed Etika’s mental health issues to specifically KEEMSTAR’s infamously toxic and vicious fanbase, and as a result of this, and his other ‘fans’ who turned on him, a lot of negative attention was brought to the streams he made afterwards. I painfully remember he did a stream for a presentation of the upcoming Super Mario Maker 2 in mid-May, and his chat was filled with people spamming the clown emoji to mock him, solely because they thought it was funny. This clown ‘joke’ would continue to stick throughout his last few days. 

Throughout his last couple of weeks, the tone of Etika’s streams gradually shifted from wild to a more somber feeling. Although his tweets were still fairly cryptic and weird/explicit, the tone of his streams lacked the same effortless energy that he once possessed. On June 11, 2019, roughly a year after the original E3 stream that made him famous, Etika went live for the final time to react to Nintendo’s E3 presentation for the year. In a stark contrast to his reaction the year prior, the one I watched with so much excitement and hope, his reactions and emotions in this stream appear so obviously forced that I grimace everytime I rewatch it today. It appears as if he’s desperately trying to recreate that sense of genuine energy that was present in his earlier streams, but whatever he was dealing with at the time prevented him from doing so. 

On midnight of June 19, 2019, Etika uploaded his final video, titled “I’m sorry” to his secondary Youtube channel. In it, he seemed to be much more grounded than the crazed individual that was depicted in the months prior. He apologizes to many specific, important people in his life for his actions, and expresses regret that he pushed as many of his friends away as he did. He also talks about the things he would never get to see, specifically expressing regret at the fact that he would never get to see people that he cared about grow up. What haunts me the most about this video is that he talks as if he doesn’t want to do what he’s about to do, but it feels like he has to. He even goes so far as to refer to himself in the past tense at one point. In the description of the video, he leaves a message that essentially reads like a suicide note, as he essentially reminicses about his life and career as a streamer, and thanks his fans for sharing good memories with him. Shortly after the video was posted, many people, even the same people who so cruelly mocked him, expressed their concern, and he was reported to the police. Since the last two times Etika had episodes things turned out fine, many fans thought he was simply doing this as a method to garner attention for one reason or another. A lot of people were genuinely concerned about his well-being, but a good amount didn’t take things seriously, and thought that things would simply pan out.

Then came the subsequent, slow release of information:

Him being officially reported missing, CCTV footage showing a man who resembled him pacing dangerously close to the Manhattan Bridge, his belongings being identified near the Manhattan Bridge, and finally, a body being found floating down the East River, then the confirmation of its identity just a day later.

Etika’s death has served as somewhat of a cautionary tale for how mental health amongst influencers should be treated. Even though there will always be those who are unnecessarily cruel to others over the internet, it’s bittersweet seeing people taking situations like this seriously, when perhaps they didn't before. 

For me, Etika’s death really made me aware of how truly significant of an issue suicide is and just how painfully preventable it can be as a whole. Granted, some people simply have issues that stem from things that their close friends and family can’t help with, but a lot of the time I feel as if just lending a hand to someone can work wonders. It isn’t difficult to not harass and belittle someone over the internet. It isn’t difficult to reach out to someone, and to make them feel cared about and loved in their time of need. We will never know what directly caused Etika to do what he did, but I think it’s safe to say that the cruel jokes and bullying that he received played a part. For many people, myself included, Etika was a source of happiness and laughter, and we ended up losing that in part because of some cruel jokes for the sole sake of personal, selfish amusement. If nothing else, I hope these internet bullies simply learned from their mistakes, and are hopefully going to educate people who don’t see the weight behind the words that are callously thrown out on the internet. It shouldn’t have taken someone to die for people to finally wake up. If there is one thing that we can take from this situation, in my opinion, it’s the ability to be nice and considerate to those around you, and not be so needlessly vicious and cruel. There is so much weight behind words that too many people are oblivious to. In the end, what people might have thought to be simple insults ended up taking the life of someone who was loved by thousands.