Atlanta Pollen Season Review

I love my hometown of Atlanta. It’s one of the great cultural centers of America, with iconic landmarks, fantastic southern cuisine, thriving industries in film and hip-hop, and a rich history rooted in civil rights activism. In addition to all of this, however, the city is also known for its notoriously brutal allergy season. With the entire metro area being encompassed by trees and forests, the months of March and April are defined by the pollen in the air, with every passing year seemingly bringing a new record-breaking pollen count. I have had lots of experience with Atlanta pollen, spending the vast majority of my life as an Atlanta citizen, but I never considered how I would rate the experience in the context of a review. But that time has finally come as today, I will be giving you my full, comprehensive review of pollen allergies in Atlanta.

I am writing this on April 5, 2019; the pollen count in Atlanta is 6,262, and I can confidently say that I am not having a good time.

The Atlanta allergy experience is much more than some mild cold symptoms. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still plenty of sneezing and congestion to be had, and it is unquestionably terrible, but it is far from the worst part of pollen allergies. That honor has to go to the fact that quite literally my entire body itches. It’s a uniquely miserable sensation that you can’t fully comprehend until you’ve tried it for yourself; instead of an itchiness that irritates the outer part of the skin, it occurs on the inner side of the skin which, fun fact, you can’t scratch. As I have found from my own personal experience, this is especially convenient at night while trying to fall asleep.

But for all of you fans of rubbing and scratching out there, don’t worry, pollen has you covered, too. It only takes about 30 seconds outdoors to leave your eyes in a state of excruciating irritation for the rest of the day. Speaking of the outdoors, you will probably want to spend some time enjoying the best and most comfortable weather of the year. Don’t. No matter how nice a sunny, 75º afternoon sounds, it will suck. But in the unfortunate event that you do find yourself outside, always remember not to touch, use, sit on, lean against, or be in close proximity to literally anything in the outside world. Your clothes and/or skin will turn bright yellow and stay that way.

Overall, I was quite unsatisfied with what pollen season in Atlanta had to offer. Unless you find enjoyment from your own suffering, I don’t feel comfortable recommending pollen allergies to anyone.

★☆☆☆☆

By Jaden Ellman